Simple Sunday – What I miss

This weekend at the tail end of an eight hour CPR class I got hit with the worst virus to attack my body in years. Since I became a mamma I have not really been sick enough to be completely out of game. Sick enough to neglect laundry, most definitely. Too
sick to carry Collin up the stairs? No
way. Until this nasty virus snuck up on me.
Luckily I have a husband who didn’t bat an eye at having to take over all childcare responsibilities. Yet, I couldn’t really enjoy this break from caregiving. As I lay there in bed I came to realize how much I love all of the day to day simple interactions I share with my boy. The first few hours, fine, but after that I started to crave our easy interactions, the weight of his body on my hip, our diaper change giggles and silly inside jokes.
There was a time early in his life when I would have given anything for this time off. Time off from the constant worry early motherhood brought me, time away from someone else’s needs. Time to just be with my husband as we used to. Now I just feel simple gratitude for the good health (sniffles not withstanding) we all usually are blessed with.
Even though I was around Collin during these last few days of hazy illness I feel as if I haven’t seen him. I miss him terribly. I can tell he misses me too and now that I am (relatively) healthy and back to school he is home with the same bug. Apart again. It is the touch and nearness that we both are so used to that is lacking.
What if one of us was chronically ill? What if we didn’t have the time to cuddle, hug, hold hands and explore the world as we do everyday? There are many families in such a situation. I wouldn’t imagine anyone would want pity, but I would think they would want us to be more grateful for what we have.

During this holiday season, when worry about money overtakes your joy for the season, long lines and holiday traffic sit the Grinch upon your shoulder, or family squabbles make you wish for it all to be over too soon turn to your child (or just one nearby if you come to this blog by way of teaching) share the little moments. Escape with just them if you must. Hold their tiny hand. Take a deep breath and remember how amazing it is that both of you just ARE.

Advertisements