Simple Sunday-Some Simple Honesty

Something has changed in the way that Collin relates to those around him.  He is more conversational and will stop in mid-sentence to look deeply into our eyes as we discuss something.  He will look up at me as we are reading a book to judge my face, my tone and my reaction.  When I try to express my frustration calmly and honestly he will say “Mamma angry” as he analyzes what is going on.  It isn’t that his looking at me is new, this is looking into me.

As a teacher I have built many strong relationships with children I work with.  My support of them emotionally during the school day can noticeably enhance their learning experience.  With your own child  the ability to deeply connect is ten times greater and within the moments of connection lay building blocks for emotional resilience that will last a lifetime.

I admit that as I look deeper inside myself I don’t find answers.  What I find is more confusion and work that needs to be done. This week a few articles have been circulating regarding building resilience, emotional intelligence  and handling strong emotions. (Awesome articles, check them out!)  As I read through these I think two thoughts:

1- Wow, I totally do this!  I empathize with what he is feeling, connect to his emotional side and put words to his complicated emotions!

2- Oh my gosh, this is rough! How do I express my emotions without labeling or blaming him? How can I stay calm and empathize with him when I am frustrated as well?

 

I have found that expressing myself as calmly as possible in very simple terms is all I can do.  It is also one of the best things I can do for him.  I can help to empathize and verbalize his emotions for him, until he is able to do it on his own.  I can be honest with myself, not expecting too much.  Giving both of us the gift of a relationship worthy of those sweet eyes that look so deeply into mine.

Of course I continue to do work on myself.  On understanding him.  On managing my daily stress level so he is not an innocent bystander if something explodes.  But really, as parents we have so much to do.  So much to do right, everyday.  The beginning of strong relationship is built on honesty and care for others.  That I can do, everyday.  The rest we have a chance to do, again and again and again until we get it right.

Happy Sunday! Have a simply great week!

 

 

Advertisements

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Auntie Elizabeth
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 16:02:09

    …And then there’s the added bonus of how this conscious observation of our emotions and how they affect others impacts ALL of our relationships!

    Reply

Please join in the discussion!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: